


Ours, First

by SoYoureClairevoyant



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Canon Compliant, Character's Name Spelled Victor, Character's Name Spelled Yuuri, Communication, Domestic, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Humor, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:14:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26313238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoYoureClairevoyant/pseuds/SoYoureClairevoyant
Summary: After reading that Victor revealed intimate details of their lives in an interview, Yuuri tried to explain why it makes him so upset.
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri & Victor Nikiforov, Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov
Comments: 1
Kudos: 172





	Ours, First

**Author's Note:**

> Zero shame. No chill. I love writing domestic Viktuuri.
> 
> Not beta'd so let me know if there are any serious inconsistencies or typos.

It wasn’t often that Yuuri and Victor argued. Not only were the two of them well-attuned to each other’s mannerisms and body language, but they had methods for working through conflict without placing blame. The stress of keeping in their feelings only affected their performances if left to fester, so any concerns or disagreements were to be taken care of as soon as humanly possible. If one of them needed space to work through their feelings or put their concern into words, they could write it down or even call from another room. It may have been strange, but it worked for them. 

This time, Yuuri was too worked up to write or call. He paced the apartment, wringing his hands and running them through his hair repeatedly while he verbally vomited all of the feelings he’d had since reading Victor’s latest interview. Normally, Victor’s interviews were completely professional and only touched lightly on his relationship with Yuuri. Whenever the publication inevitably asked about how he balanced being a competitor, coach and “companion,” all to the same person, he would laugh and say something charming to redirect the conversation back to skating. This time, though, Victor had gone too far. He had knowingly shared intimate details about their lives, and Yuuri was humiliated.

Victor watched his fiance pace from where he himself leaned against the back of the sofa with his arms crossed. He had seen Yuuri in pace mode before. Pacing was what Yuuri did when he needed to move and didn’t want to leave the apartment to go to the rink or go for a run. His anxiety manifested physically, and Victor knew that in this case, it was better to try to understand from afar than get into Yuuri’s space. 

“I just don’t see what the big deal is. Everyone knows we live together and have probably figured out we have sex. We already announced our engagement to everyone that matters, so it follows we can talk about the wedding.”

“That’s not the point, Victor!” Yuuri paused in front of Victor to throw him a pointed look through narrowed eyes and then continued on his path. His left hand moved to lightly trace his engagement ring on his right. Victor noticed the switch and uncrossed his arms to rest his hands at his sides. When Yuuri was ready to slow down and talk, Victor wanted to be in as non-confrontational a pose as possible.

“Explain to me, then. What is the point?”

As predicted, Yuuri slowed his pacing at Victor’s question. “The point is...The point is that...um. Deep breaths, Yuuri. Okay so, try to follow me, here. You are an incredibly talented, highly decorated, intensely beautiful man of much renown, enthusiasm and shall we say, joie de vivre, correct?”

Victor smiled at the compliment - and Yuuri’s attempt at French - and nodded in encouragement. “That’s flattering. Objectively speaking, yes, you are correct.”

“And I am also, technically, highly decorated. Plus, I’m currently engaged to said beautiful man of much enthusiasm, correct?”

Victor nodded again. “You forgot enchantingly talented and stunningly beautiful, but yes. You are correct again.”

“These things alone would get us stopped for a photo while we’re out on a date or asked for an interview after a competition. Our status...One might even go so far as to call us a ‘celebrity couple.’ I mean, we have a hashtag. It’s been trending again, did you see? I bet Phichit is behind it. I called him just before I left. We’re gonna get stopped at the market again, I know it...” Yuuri started rambling, but Victor cut him off gently before the new tide of anxiety could sweep them up and make them start the whole conversation over again.

“Yuuri, please.”

“Right, so as a quote-unquote celebrity couple, our lives, both professional and personal, are almost always on display. We have reporters and officials and fans and friends and family poking and prodding for information that is private to us. We already have to answer to trainers and doctors and coaches and the public about every single thing we do. So why, my dearest love, don’t you see how I would want to keep some things - like our sex life or our wedding plans - just between the two of us?”

Victor’s smile faded and was instead replaced with confusion and the barest hint of hurt. He loved Yuuri and wanted to tell the world. Didn’t Yuuri feel the same about him? Victor looked down at the floor and cleared his throat before speaking.

“What do you mean?”

The fact that Victor had shifted his gaze was not lost on Yuuri. He immediately stopped pacing in front of his Russian, choosing instead to stand in front of him and take his hands reassuringly. Had Victor been looking straight ahead from this position, the two of them would be eye-to-eye. Yuuri spoke in an attempt to lift Victor’s eyes and spirit with words rather than by force. His words were earnest but gentle.

“I love you. I do. I have loved you since I was twelve years old. I have grown to love you even more since you dropped out of the sky and came to Japan to drag me back to the ice. I have loved you as an artist, an athlete, an idol and a friend. As your husband, I will have the honor and privilege of loving you more than life itself until I am dead and buried in the ground. Probably longer.”

Victor scoffed and looked up from where his gaze was fixed on the floor. 

“Well, that’s morbid.” Yuuri smiled and bumped his forehead against Victor’s. Victor closed his eyes and sighed, knowing he didn’t fully understand Yuuri’s point yet. “I love you too, solnyshko. The way I see it, though, if the public is interested, we owe it to them to show at least a bit of our lives to them.”

Yuuri leaned back to look Victor in the eye. “There are so many people who will insist they have a right to our lives,  _ everything _ in them, if we give them a taste. We put a lot out there, on the ice, in interviews and on social media. But I want for some things to be just for us for a while before we share it and it’s not ours anymore.”

Victor cocked his head, trying to follow Yuuri’s logic. After a moment of thinking, he shook his head and asked, “...like what, though? What exactly isn’t ours anymore?”   
  
Yuuri spoke with his hands the way he did after spending too much time with the Crispinos. Victor had to smile, though, because he did it without letting go of his hands. “Like...like your becoming my coach, for example. You dropped everything and jumped on a plane to come after me when you saw the Nishigori girls’ video, and I am so glad you did. But I was the last person to hear about it. It was world news that you were missing and taking the season off before I even knew you were here. It paralyzed me that I couldn’t prepare myself for the fallout.”

Victor nodded to show he understood. “What else was there, though? Everyone knew, so what? We’ve had other things. Our first kiss-”

“Was broadcast live to the entire figure skating world as soon as it happened. You surprised me in the best way, and I couldn’t even take a minute to enjoy it before the press closed in on us.”

“Our engagement, in Barcelona was---”

“We had less than an hour before Phichit noticed the rings and we had to come clean.” Yuuri sounded more and more dejected with every memory Victor brought up. While Victor remembered them with excitement and closely followed by love, he could see Yuuri tense at how public their most intimate moments had been. 

Victor was ashamed at how long it took him to understand. His eyes widened. “And...your moving here puts us in the news again. When I came to meet you, we were ambushed at the baggage claim and at the terminal.”

Yuuri nodded, relieved that Victor was beginning to understand. “I just wanted to come home to you. Maybe unpack and finally see your home rink. Or even just order some food and pass out in bed for the day. But we spent the evening taking photos in the airport.”

“I wanted that, too! I wanted so badly to take you home and spend some time together! I was so excited when your plane landed that I had to tell people!”

“Vitya, I know! I’m not blaming you! I love your enthusiasm, and I knew going into this that the fans would have a reaction to our relationship. All I am asking is in the future, can we make the decision together to put whatever the news is out to the world? At least the big stuff. We’re a team. This is a partnership. I want us to be on the same page so there’s no chance for miscommunication between us.”

“Of course, darling, of course. I can’t believe I never thought of it that way.”

Victor let go of Yuuri’s hands, pulling him into a warm and inviting hug. The storm of anxiety had passed for the moment. Yuuri would be tired later, but they would sit together and eat the leftovers waiting for them in the fridge. They would talk more about what should and should not be shared in interviews and online. The late evening would bring laughter and cuddles until Yuuri fell asleep in Victor’s lap, drained but content. 

At the moment, Yuuri just leaned into Victor’s broad chest, offering as much support as he received. He smirked, a thought making him stifle a laugh in Victor’s shoulder.

“Plus how can we surprise the world if they know our news before we do?” Yuuri laughed out loud when he pulled back. Victor looked deep in thought at the concept of no more surprises. He did enjoy surprising people, in all cases Yuuri first and the world second.

“That’s a fair point. Hm. I suppose it makes sense this way.” He brightened at the smile on Yuuri’s face, coming in close and nuzzling into his neck. Yuuri put a cheek on Victor’s head to hold him there, but Victor was more than happy to breathe in the smell of laundry detergent and green tea while he spoke. It was muffled, but Yuuri heard every word. “I promise, all big decisions, we discuss as a team, privately, and away from prying eyes and ears.”

Yuuri smiled and put a loud kiss to the whorl of Victor’s hair, earning a whine in response. “And in return, I will try to be more open about our lives in general, with the public and with our family and friends.”

“That would make me very happy.” Victor lifted his head to put a chaste kiss Yuuri’s lips. Then, unable to hold back any longer, he put one on Yuuri’s temple, then his cheek. He put quick, light kisses all over Yuuri’s face until the latter was flushed and laughing and trying to return the kisses himself. Victor pulled back to see his handiwork and pulled out his phone. “Can we start the sharing with a couple’s selfie?”

Yuuri took the phone and turned around so his back was to Victor’s chest. He pulled up Victor’s Instagram page and opened the camera while Victor hugged his waist from behind. “Only if I get to choose the caption.”

They posted the photo a moment later, after carefully selecting the perfect caption together.

_ #teamkatsukinikiforov #teamworkmakesthedreamwork #dreamcometrue _


End file.
